JibJab Sticks it to MSN, Fox News and CNN With the Latest

Ok, so I’m a little biased, sure, but I think this is a really good piece. It’s smart, funny, and says exactly what I’ve thought about cable and broadcast news for a long time: it’s exploitive and idiotic. Sure, they report on important stuff about 25% of the time, but c’mon, there’s so much more to know about what’s going on out there. Here’s the piece, I’ll stop blathering and just let you watch.  I have to just link to it because stupid wordpress doesn’t allow embed code.  They have their own lame-o way of doing it which I’m sure they think is really unlame but it limits you to only using YouTube, Google Video, and something called Daily Motion.  Verdict?  Ultra lame.

 http://www.jibjab.com/what_we_call_the_news

Check out the behind the scenes blog, I worked on it and it’s got some great insight into the whole process.  Excelsior!

Special Report: Bike Cops Not as Cool as Real Cops

In a study released this wednesday, the LAPD was disappointed to find exactly what it had suspected all along: cops without cars are less likely to have a threesome than police officers with cars. “At the core of this, however, is another problem,” explained Dr. Rob Dietrich at wednesday’s press conference, “they’re dorks. Who ever got laid in the back seat of a schwin?”

Bike Cops hang around, sharing their stories of loneliness and sexual frustration.

Dr. Dietrich’s colleague, a Professor Hufenpuph of Harvard School of Psychiatry and Behavioral Sciences, agrees. “The natural state of sex has an inherent ‘coolness’ about it. A certain ‘phatitude’. Mustangs are cool. Bikes are half as cool because they only have two wheels.”

The study’s main subject, Leonard Berkle, provided just the kind of lameness that many of the projects scientists and investors had predicted he would. “Well, just look at him. Jesus,” Explained BioDerm’s Publicity Relations President Donna Turner. “Jesus.”

Berkle was dropped into a number of situations where coolness was a crucial and deciding factor and was forced to perform against the odds. Pre-fabricated domes provided fully functioning replicas of Mardi Gras, Daytona Beach and the Sunset Strip.

“We were disappointed, as we suspected we would be,” says Dietrich “He failed to pick up any one. This includes the transvestites and blind people that were introduced late in the experiment. Hopeless.”

An exasperated Leonard Berkle fails to pick up on another female, despite her headgear.

George Washington Will Rape and Kill You.

According to this music video, at least. Aside from being really funny, I like this video because both elements, the music and the accompanying visuals, fit together really well. Two great tastes that taste great together. It’s the whole slacker aesthetic – if you listen to the song the vocalists sound like they haven’t slept for days, and the music is stripped down. Kind of reminiscent of Violent Femmes or the Breeders – the early stuff anyway. Add the crudely drawn, barely animated accompaniment and you have something that meshes perfectly. It’s done by a guy named Brad Neely. Big props to Matt Kolokoff for this one.   I usally hate forwards but every time I get one from Matt I open it because I know it’s gonna be damn solid.  More props to Aaron Simpson, curator of Cold Hard Flash.com for having this gem in his JibJab JokeBox and for giving me the heads up on Brad Neely’s site.  Cold Hard Flash is a must for any animation fans out there, especially if  you’re into Flash.  But even if you’re not, this is such a comprehensive catalog of what’s going  on in broadcast and internet animation that it goes beyond just a fun read – it’s also incredibly informative.  Can’t say enough good things about it!

This has inspired me to write some Martin Van Buren fan fiction. Sure, he’s not the most popular president but that’s probably because he never had a cool music video. He’s got some much potential – just look at those sideburns! More to come…

Martin Van Buren: The perfect President to fight Robot Zombie in a reinvisioned Post World War II Russia.

The ROFLcopter: Cleared for Landing.

Now, I’m admitedly behind on the latest geekspeak so the roflcopter may be old news to some of you.  But I just discovered it and it’s a perfect example of the silly, seemingly random stuff that makes me laugh.  Here’s some proper definitions of a roflcopter -

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=roflcopter

The roflcopter also a great example of the kinds of UGC (User Generated Crazes) that live, breathe and die on a daily basis all around the net.  This, combined with terms like pwned, 1337 and all the other geekspeak out there is forming the lexicon for the online community.  This is nothing new, it’s been happening for awhile now, but it will be interesting to see how far this goes, and how much staying power these terms have.  There’s a lot of rhetoric about the power of the e-people (or iPeople if you own a Mac, I guess), but the truth of the matter is simple – we’re closer to a UGC (User Generated Culture) every day.

Big props to JibJab’s own Dave Schappell for introducing me to the Roflcopter.

…………………..__ …………
……<ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL>.
……………………| |………..
………………. __\||/____……
.\\……………|’-|–| .\\….\…..
..\ \_………..|–|—|..\\ ….\….
../ L \____,/——-\___\___\
.|LOL|————-O—– —-,\..
..\ L /______,—”———–, /…
../ /………….\_________ ,/….
.//………….____//___ __\\__/.

St. Patty’s Day? I think it was.

Posting for posterity . . .

http://www.flickr.com/photos/jpegsrock/sets/72157600008094556/

On another note, I really like Flickr. I’m usually not a big fan of web 2.o, I don’t see any reason why cool design and good functionality can’t coexist. But with Flickr, since the concetration is so much on other people’s pictures, the lack of any design around them makes perfect sense. It’s the same reason you have blank white walls and simple floors in an art gallery. Anyway, for those that were there, enjoy the pics, for those that weren’t, here’s what a really foggy saturday afternoon looked like. I also have video, but nobody falls over, or pukes or does any crazy drunk shit so it’s not worth posting.  Lame.

Bill Found It…

Props to Bill Anastas (billanastas.com) for finding GNFOS (see previous posting). This thing is worth it for the intro. It’s got a BladeRunner soundtrack and then is hilariously bad. It’s definitely MST3K worthy. If you don’t know MST3K, first I’ll shed a single tear for you, then I’ll tell you to click here. I’ll have to do a whole ‘nother post on it, it’s too good not to honor. Here’s GNFOS, I went about halfway through and didn’t see any sex but I’d still say all bets are off as to whether it’s gay porn or not. First one to find out gets a candy bar*!

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=5121649266422516795

*Fun size, or 1/3 of a king size. I will eat the rest.

IMDB: Insane Movie DataBase

My friend Jeff was searching his friends’ names (who aren’t in “the industry”) to find out what would come up. Here’s one – I don’t need to even make any clever or cheeky comments about this one – it speaks for itself…

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0274518/

Make sure to read the “quotes” section…Ten bucks to the person that can find this on DVD! (or VHS, or Beta…)

My Cousin Terry Scored the Muenster Account!

Dateline: March 9, 2007

In an unsuspected move late last night, the Muenster Advisory Board has chosen the ad firm of Lowestein, Breck, Lowestein and Breck to commandeer their new multibillion dollar ad campaign. Many inside the cheese industry expected them to go with Idea SweatShop, a much bigger firm with a history of cheese hawking. In 1998, Idea SweatShop was responsible for the billboards, television ads and publicity events that led to the Gorgonzola craze that summer.

Terry, my cousin and Senior Account Manager at Lowenstein, Breck, Lowenstein and Breck, attributes their success to the fact that they have no cheese experience. What? That’s crazy town Terry! Allow him to explain…

“When I met Hank (Flecowics, Senior Vice Chairman of the Muenster Advisory Board), I could tell that he was selling more than just cheese.” He said in a recent interview at my Uncle Stan’s wake, “Muenster is a lifestyle. We at LBLB understood that immediately, and are already well on our way to selling that lifestyle to the American public.”

Terry, my cousin just about the best advertsing exec at Lowenstein, Breck, Lowenstein and Breck.

And it’s proven to be an even bigger job than it sounds. The first step, says Terry, was to develop a slogan that people ‘could really get behind’. After months of brainstorming, consumer testing and an exhaustive tour of dairy farms, Hank and company have finally come up with a solid slogan. “Release the Muenster Monster Within You” will be appearing on billboards, at bus stops, on TV and printed on select deli meats in the coming months. But Terry didn’t stop there.

We Need Jetpacks

Here’s another Onion editorial that I unfortunately can’t submit so I’m posting here. Their loss, dear reader, is your gain. Actually, if they published them you would’ve seen them. Plus, they’ve got plenty of stuff Again, if you’re not familiar with Onion editorials, they’re not like regular editorials. Picture a guy talking to his boss…

WE NEED JETPACKS
by Doug Hamshenmeier

Hey there Chuck, you got a second? I know you’re busy with the end of the week evaluations and all, but I just had an incredible brainfart – the good kind. This could improve office productivity by hundreds of percents, and you’ll look like a hero. What is this miracle, you ask? Jetpacks, my friend, JETPACKS.

Now stay with me on this one, because I know it may sound a little strange. But hey, the electric light probably sounded like a pretty kooky idea when it was invented too, right? If we’re going to move into the forefront of cardboard box production and retail and really giving Amalgamated Box Company a run for their money (those bastards), then we’ve got to embrace the future. And the future is Jetpacks, my friend. JETPACKS.

Maybe it will help if I use an everyday example of how Jetpacks can improve our work flow. How many times have you had to wait on an important meeting because SOMEONE forgot their notes? You’re just staring at me blankly and not saying anything, but I’m going to assume it’s A LOT. Say goodbye to those awkward moments – with a jetpack, that forgetful executive will be back in a quarter of the time it would take a standard, non-jetpack wearing employee. Let’s see Amalgamated Box Company do that!

Think of it from a personal standpoint – you know how you’re always complaining about traffic? How you always wished you could fly above all those shmucks on the highway? Well, you didn’t say that exactly but it’s implied. Don’t sit here and tell me that you wouldn’t want to fly. EVERYONE wants to fly. And your Mercedes may have a V8, but this baby’s got VERTICAL power. Sweetness.

(CONTINUED…)

The Trouble With LOST…

Lost’s success in the first couple seasons came largely from the mystery surrounding everything. Yes, the production values are great and the actors are all pretty good and the storylines intriguing, but what brings you back is hoping to find out the answer to the all encompasing question: why. And everyone had their own ideas about the answer in the beginning. Some people thought it was pergatory, some throuht it was a conspiracy, some thought it was something else entirely. And it was all these different possibilities that kept so many different kinds of people hooked. Thus Lost’s impressive Neilson ratings.

But you can’t people guessing forever. They’ll drop out if you string them along. This is obvious enough, but consider this – the more you answer, the more definition there is, the more chance you have of alienating certain parts of your audience. The other portion might be pleased with where you’re going, but ratings are king, and you’re losing ratings. Fast. The goal to attract a wide audience and answer questions at the same time are somewhat contradictory. And that’s why Lost won’t go past 4 seasons.